She's Baaaaaaaaack!

Sorry for the hiatus.

But I was doing a bit of traveling.

And playing in the ocean.

And hanging out with a VERY large mouse.

Stay tuned for your regularly scheduled sarcastic commentary!

Halloween

Since this post is oozing with blood cute photos, I'll leave the commentary on the short side.

Here is how Halloween went down at the Taylor house:

* The boy and I drove to a friends home for early Trick or Treating in historic downtown Saratoga.

* Realized once I was at my friend's house that I had two cameras and extra pants for Austin but forgot my jacket.

* Borrowed myfriend's sweatshirt.

* Had the boy practice Trick or Treating at friend's house and then set off to the infamous Riggi Mansion.

* Who are the Riggis? Really, really rich people in Saratoga Springs who have a heated lawn.

* Went to the Mansion. Stared at their huge house with my mouth open. 

* Ate free donuts, drank free cider, then accidentally got scratched by a certain boy dressed as a train and bled copious amounts of blood from my ear, freaking out other families.

* Depleted paper and baby wipe supply of the three women we are there with. Finally stopped the bleeding with a napkin from the donut dude. My friend Marisa should be an EMT.

* Waited in line for about 20 minutes to Trick or Treat at the Mansion. Got escorted by a security guy to a heated tent in front of the house where the Riggi daughter was dressed as Jersey Cinderella.

* Drug Austin over to Jersey Cinderella to claim his full sized Hershey bar. 

* Having found out 10 minutes earlier than the Riggis hide a certain number of $100 bills in various chocolate bars a la Willy Wonka, you would have dragged your child too.

* Stood in front of Mansion and let the boy eat a full sized Hershey bar (which did not have $100 in it but still tasted awesome according to the boy).

* Walked back to friends house to reclaim vehicle and headed home for REAL Trick or Treat.

* Let the child run around without his costume on until Daddy got home.

* Daddy finally got home and Austin refused to put his costume back on.

* Made dinner and started handing out candy to Trick or Treaters.

* Pouted at dinner because I love Halloween and it is SO not cool that my spawn wouldn't go get candy from strangers.

* Threatened one last time that Trick or Treat is almost over.

* Watched the boy run around while saying "Oh No!" and trying to gather his costume pieces.

* Followed the cutest train ever around to neighboring houses (only 4 because Trick or Treat seriously was almost over).

* Came home and let the boy eat one piece of candy from his newfound stash while I checked his plastic pumpkin for razor blades, poisoned apples, and any candy I liked.

* Put the boy in a quick bath, coaxed him to bed, and opened the Vampire wine.

* Started thinking about next year.

Miss Marisa had some candy laying around for little hands to grab.

Standing with Marisa and Austin at the side entrance to the Riggi Mansion.

Austin and Marisa heading towards the front where all the excitement was.

And by excitement I mean the line.

But there were free donuts.

Then my ear was bleeding. A lot.

Orange napkin is my preferred method of medical treatment for bleeding ears.

The candy bars were covered with Riggified wrappers.

Austin and his Charlie Bucket moment.

You know, the first one, when he doesn't win.

All dressed up. At 7:55 pm. 

Better late than never.

Back in our neighborhood with normal sized houses.

This is what happens when I try to get a picture of him and the inside of his pumpkin in the dark.

Informing us that we should do "one more house".

Eating his one piece of candy. Which was actually his 14th piece of candy that day. 

But who's counting?