The Little Lebowski

Last week all of the local kiddies were on a "Winter Break". I'm guessing that we were supposed to go to Jamaica or something to break from winter, but instead we went bowling. Close enough. It was Austin's first time ever, and my first time in 12 years. The fact that I still have use of my right arm and that Austin wants to go again would deem our outing a huge success. But in all honesty? I'll be going back for the cheese fries.

 How one of the kids did not end up with a missing hand after using that ball return is a miracle.

 Big strong lad.

 FYI- it is frowned upon for adults to use these.

 French fries. A necessary part of any bowling outing.

 Mommy and Austin bowling shoes.

I was jealous that his were glow in the dark and mine were not.

 A wild bunch.

I tried that whole red eye reduction thing and they all ended up looking even more possessed.

So children with laser eyes it is.

 Neon glow in the dark shoes.

As a child of the 80's, I was like a moth to the flame.

 Did you know that it takes 18 hours for a group of 7 children to finish a game?

Yup. I'm B. And the next time I went bowling?

I sucked.

But the cheese fries were still awesome.

C'est la vie.

Top 10

Top 10 things I learned from Austin's 5th Birthday Party:

1. When your husband leaves the remnants of a bulk package of hot dogs lying in the shade on the deck (it was 25 degrees outside), and you let the dogs out to go to the bathroom, the hot dogs and half of the packaging will disappear.

2. Getting a cake from Walmart instead of baking 42 cupcakes and decorating them yourself is the best decision ever.

3. Optimus Prime pinata = awesome.

4. If you have more than 10 children in your house, you will be sick in two days.

5. Having booze at your child's party will make parents much more happy. Or at least just you.

6. Don't give kids too many choices. I had chocolate and white cake, and chocolate and vanilla ice cream. Those are WAY too many choices when you have 11 kids.

7. If you have a kegerator in your basement, one of your tiny guests will pull the tap open and drain said keg onto your carpeted floor.

8. It will be two weeks later and you will be on your 8th attempt of ridding the carpet of the smell.

9. You can't invite everyone. And that stinks. But not as bad as old beer on carpet.

10. Your son will think you are awesome for having a huge crazy party for him.

And now a few pictures.

Just a few.

Cause I don't have all day.

 Just a little decorating.

 Chris is lobbying to keep the huge Optimus Prime head as our dining room table centerpiece.

 Happy 5 year old.

 Thank you Wallyworld!

 Yes, the girl/ boy ratio is in Austin's favor.

I love this little guy. I just wanna squish his face!

"Who wants a Ferrari?"

 Delicious.

 Our friend Mr. Stephen was the Pinata holder.

Don't worry, there was no hitting. It had pull strings.

Which inevitably failed.

 Birthday Boy taking his turn.

And, of course, the presents.

The #1 reason a 5 year old looks forward to his birthday.

And his 33 year old mother.

And probably you.

Little Man

Austin turned 5. Sniff, sniff. I may be in denial.

Because even though he drives me absolutely bonkers, I love him with all of my heart.

And I don't ever want to forget these things:

* How he says "shobel" instead of shovel. And "heaby" instead of heavy.

* Every thing starts with "I have a question". Even if it is a statement.

* He has wonderful manners, he says "please" and "thank you" and addresses people as Mister and Miss.

* He is still totally freaked out by anything remotely scary in a tv show or movie. He gets that from his father. I heart zombies!

* He loves dogs and is fearless around them. We often have to keep him from squeezing the poo out of stranger's dogs.

* Uses "busy"instead of "dizzy".

* We have established that when Chris is out of town that he gets to sleep in bed with Mommy. We did that when I was a kid and it was always such a big treat. He also takes up more room in the bed than his father.

* He tries to negotiate everything. It is exhausting but highly amusing to people other than his parents.

* Two words- ladies man.

* He operates the iPad with better proficiency than his mother. 

* Knows his alphabet and counts things up to 20 with ease. This may not sound like a lot- but it has been an arduous process for me to get him interested in learning.

* Is obsessed with Transformers and their counterparts- the Rescue Bots. Daddy even shares his 1980's Transformers with him. Sometimes.

* Has an AMAZING memory. Recalls events that happened over a year ago. And if you casually mention that you will do something or get something for him? You better pay up. Because he's collecting.

* He would rather be naked.

* Makes up his own languages. Probably preparing for his world take over.

* Will not drink anything with fizz. It's an absolute blessing, because Mama is addicted to the Dr. Pepper.

* Likes company while he goes to the toilet. Grandmothers cannot refuse him. Mommy can.

* Loves school. 

* Makes friends everywhere. And then invites them to our house. Yay strangers.

* Is so very much loved.