Crafty McCrafterson

That's my new legal name. Here is how I, Crafty McCrafterson, made my first wreath. Ever. And I only almost cried once. And used a bad word twice.

Go to your local craft store and buy a wreath.

A plain, boring wreath that sheds hay all over your house when you unwrap it.

Break out the glue gun you asked for two Christmases ago.

Unwrap.

Realize you still have black spray paint on your hands from a previous project. Eww.

Spread out fake gourds and have a pretend Thanksgiving feast.

Grab one of those little guys and turn him bottom up.

Add copious amounts of hot glue to said bottom.

A note about hot glue:

It is like your hair before a date. The more you mess with it, the worse it gets.

Chris may have walked past the kitchen window and seen me madly waving my hands in the air trying to get threads of glue off my finger tips because I tried to clean up a small glop that landed on another gourd. Respect the glue. Also, if you touch the metal tip you will say a bad word.

Not bad right? As I always say, keep it simple.

 Unless it could use some more gourds...

Get into car and go BACK to craft store.

Buy more gourds and another pack of glue sticks.

And a puzzle for Austin. Because it was on sale.

 You will go through 2 million of these while making your wreath.

Some of it will be in your hair.

 This is when you call your mom and cry to her that maybe you should have kept it simple. The gourds are taking control of your life. There may be a coup in progress.

Power through. Glue on 23 more gourds.

 Cross your arms and stare at finished wreath sitting on your Dining Room table and realize you did not plan on how to actually hang it.

Squeeze ribbon through coup plotting gourds and tie into a knot.

 Google "How to hang a wreath without putting a hole in my door".

Martha Stewart says to use a ribbon and attach it to the top of the door using small nails or thumb tacks.

Realize while standing on a chair holding thumb tacks that your door is METAL.

Use a bad word.

Go find the duct tape and fix it West Virginia style.

 Success!

And it only cost about $25 in materials and gas.

And a small portion of your sanity.

Happy Fall Y'all!